Do You Trust Me?
Have you ever felt that God is not listening, that He is far away or He just doesn't care? That when you need Him the most He simply seems to disappear?
Unfortunately, many of us feel this way, all too often. In our heads, we may believe He is real, that He is there and that He cares for us but in our hearts, we are doubting.
Like many of you, I have been facing some difficult situations, and I have been saying with my voice and with my head that I believe, I have faith and I trust that God will provide, answer my prayer and see me through them. However, all that changed on Friday, July 20, 2018
That day the action part of my daily meditation asked me to write a Love Letter from God, my Loving Father, to me, asking me to be as specific as I could about the most difficult situations that are are weighing on me in my life right now. So I prayed that God would use my hand and speak to my heart. In the midst of my writing, I get a text from my beautiful soul sister saying she just bought tickets for our family to attend a youth event that evening that our kids had wanted to attend but up until that moment we weren’t sure if we would be able to go due to finances. The tears began to come. I kept writing, not fully conscious of the words that my hand was penning. Then I wrote four powerful words that stopped me cold, “Do You Trust Me?”. As I sat looking at those words, I felt the desire to look up and across the table and there in my mind's eye I see, Jesus sitting across from me with His hand outstretched, a smile on His face and asking me in a playful yet confident voice, “Do you trust me?” I felt a little silly but I reached my hand out across the table and thought “Yes, God I trust you” but then I felt that I needed to say the words out loud, so still feeling a little silly I started to say out loud “Yes, I... but I faltered on the word trust I tried again to say it out loud but once more I couldn’t say the word trust. I took a deep breath shaking my head a little, why is this so hard. I began a third time, “Yes God I TRUST you.” At that moment, I began to shake all over, uncontrollable sobs escaping my mouth, tears pouring down my face. I sat in this moment with God for a little while. Then my husband and son call telling me they are almost home and hungry, so I don’t write anymore or even go back and read what I have written. However, those 4 words have been powerful enough.
The evening comes and we head to the youth rally where Sadie Robertson is going to speak. There is about 2,000 youth there and you can feel God is moving. The songs are about knowing our identity in Him, overcoming and winning our battles with Him and trusting God. They say over and over again, "what if God put all this together just so you could hear Him speak to you tonight, 10 months of planning, 2,000 people, lights, speakers, music all just for you tonight." Then Sadie gets up to speak and she shares some powerful things from Acts about Paul his transformation and his journey. As she was sharing the powerful truth that God told Paul that He was going to make it through the storm but his boat and his stuff would not. There was a powerful clap of thunder. Isn't God awesome! Do you Sometimes sit in your damaged boat, holding onto all your stuff as you are tossed about by the storm, refusing to let them go, even though God has already told you none of it is going to make it? He has promised He is going to save you if you will just let it go and Trust God. God has something with so much greater purpose for you and it is intentional. Don't float about in the waves of doubt, and the storms of struggle any longer. Trust Him.
But wait we are getting to the really good part, many came forward as Sadie gave an invitation and prayed a powerful prayer about being changed, being leaders, being a voice for God in a world that is lost. And then after the prayer, she said she had three things that God had put on her heart to share that night. She said she did not know the significance of them but just that she was supposed to share them. The first was the number 41, she asked if this meant anything to anyone, my heart began to beat a little faster, my email is krystaltravis41, however as we were sitting in the very back row and this was a youth event, I didn’t say anything, she said well maybe it is someone’s jersey number since there were many teen athletes in the room, so one mom finally said it was her sons jersey number. Then she said well does April 9th mean anything to anyone, at this time I looked at my husband with a complete look of shock on my face, my heart racing and the tears pouring down my face. April 9th is my birthday. A young girl stood up and said it was her birthday also and her name was Hannah, my daughter's name. By this time I was thinking Jesus if she says “Krystal or Travis” I am just going to die and come to see you right now! So thankfully she said, “Jonathan”. I guess that means He has some great adventures here still in store for me
I know you probably think wow what more does God have to do to show me I can trust Him. Well you see, I can be a little stubborn, doubtful and start excusing things away. Sooo... He gave me just a little more evidence. As we walked out of the event it was storming up something fierce, torrential pounding rain, lightning and thunder like crazy. Now for some reason our phones got no service the second we stepped through the door of that school, our friends did but none of ours did. However the second we stepped outside the door they started blowing up, my daughter, the one named Hannah, that lives in a different state and calls about once a week, if we are lucky, was blowing up all of our phones, worried about us wondering where we were. I thought maybe there were tornadoes all around us or something so I check the weather and yep there is tornado watches, warnings and severe weather alerts for all of middle Tennessee most of the night. As we under a pavilion in the pounding rain pondering how to get to our cars and call our daughter back, my husband decides to sacrifice himself and makes a mad dash for the car, my hero, however, we all get soaked just trying to get in the car, it was pouring so hard! As we drive out of Cookeville and get on the highway home the storm completly stops. It is calm and dry all the way home and at home. We go to bed in calm but at 2:00 am are awakened by some of the craziest lighting and thunder I have ever seen, we let in the dog, our youngest gets in bed with us, the electricity keeps going on and off as the lightning and thunder hit so close it shakes our house. Usually, in storms like this, I lay awake, pray and worry the night away until it is over but that night I rolled over and said “I trust you God” and let me tell you it was literally the best night of sleep I have had in many many years!
Now maybe you aren’t as stubborn or doubting as I am and God doesn’t need to give you as many opportunities to know that you can trust Him as it took for me but I can say with confidence now that “I trust you, God.” And I am never going to stop saying it!